Lights. Camera. Awkward!

Observation #27: The camera adds 10 pounds...of awkwardness

I cannot take a serious picture. Its impossible for me to take a normal smiling picture without feeling/looking awkward. As my mother so wisely put it after I would give her each of my school pictures, "why can't you ever just take one decent picture?" Well mother, I have finally found an answer to your question: unless, for some reason, I feel really hott that day, my picture is gonna turn out like this:

or this:

or this:

or who could forget this:

(surprise! orchestra picture)

You may all be confused and a little disturbed by this blast from the past, but the truth is, I haven't changed at all. Is the past still the past if it is identical to your present?

Anyways, this is a very long and embarrassing explanation for the reason for my attempt as a fashion blogger. 

I have been thrifting and sewing my own clothes since I cared about fashion (so like 7th grade?), and I've finally decided to share something I have thrifted/altered. But my attempt at a serious picture didn't turn out too well, so you get this instead:

I found this brilliant moo moo at a thrift store. In its former life it was an XXL shapeless dress, but I saw it's potential as soon as the tribal pattern and I locked eyes. So I took it home, and after a couple hours of clothing therapy with the sewing machine, it became a flattering shirt and skirt that I can't get enough of. I also bought the tribal necklace I am wearing (if you can see it) at the same thrift store and I wear it like my own skin. 

I Have Red Lips. Hear Them ROAR

Observation #10: Monogrammed underwear is the best! Except when it has the wrong name on it...

I hope you didn't get too excited about my observation since I don't really have a good story about wearing someone else's underwear. Although that does sound like something pathetic enough to have a scene in my life. I am only referring to my blog's name change. I have decided to make some changes because I feel like mine is especially borrring. Yes, it is so borrring it deserves 3 r's. But everyone seems to comment on the fact that I always wear red lipstick even though I didn't think it was that uncommon. In fact, little brother made it known to me the other day that someone asked him if his sister was the girl that wore the red lipstick. I'm not sure if I should be flattered that the oh-so-important Mountain View population noticed me, or insulted that no one actually knew my name... I still haven't decided. But my contemplation on the matter did result in an idea to take on the "redlips" thing as a cutsie identity. So that is the reason for my name change!

!!!If anyone (and I'm guessing all of you do since all of your blogs are so classy) know how to personalize the fonts/heading/colors please let me know since the whole blue/gold and times new roman thing is really cramping my style!!!

Save Money, Die awkwardly, Walmart.

Observation #9: My awkwarditis is still raging

This picture of Brad and I is one of my normal moments

For those of you who know me or have read previous posts you know about my High School awkwardness. Well I can't say "High School awkwardness" since I am still awkward, but there is something about the same insecure people seeing me in my insecurity that just really compliments my already awkwardness. Well, body and soul were reunited again as this HS awkwardness came back with seeing my HS crush.

I have actually crushed on boy since he moved into my ward in 5th grade, but not until sophomore year did I realize how truly perfect we would be together. Unfortunately, boy didn't have this same revelation... That was the start of our unbalanced relationship.

I haven't seen boy since I left for BYUI and I had completely forgotten him and our should-be-relationship until I ran into him at Walmart. Now if this were a Nicholas Sparks book we would realize what we had been missing all these years, run away together, and then I would be diagnosed with some incurrable disease. But since I wasn't aware that my Nicholas Sparks moment would be that day, I decided not to get ready before I left for my Walmart adventure. As I walked into Walmart I saw boy walking my way and I wished that my hair would blow back in slow motion and we'd make sexy eye-contact. Now although the wind was definitley blowing, my hair was too greasy to move and I made sure we didn't make eye contact but he obviously didn't notice my "piss off" expression because he walked right up to me and started talking about his mission coming up or something like that... it was all drowned out by the sound of my self esteem flushing down the toilet. After a few minutes of this, mom finally shows up and we go our separate ways. As soon as we got our cart and walked the other way, I turned to my mom and told her how mad I was that she allowed me to look like that in public. But her supermom sensitivity just said "you didn't want him to see you like that." We then discussed how I have crushed on him since forever and now he'll be going on a mission and remembering me like that. I then felt someone looking at me so I glanced behind and saw boy 7 feet away. I guess he wasn't leaving. He now has a red-faced, greasy-haired image of me in his mind to remind him why he never dated me while he serves his two years in California.

Walmart has finally failed me.

No I did not forget to post my thrift finds but I am at work so that post will be for another time

what high school musical doesn't know

I discovered the secret to popularity. Yes I am aware of the fact that that sounded like the opening to High School Musical 4, but I am willing to let myself sound like a 14 -year old to make my point clear. Anyways (your all thinking), I find that when I want to explain something important my mind wanders to everything unimportant making it impossible to get my point across. In fact, my 10th grade english teacher told me... joke. For reals through, the secret to popularity is ..(suspence).. blogging. In high school I was refered to as "the girl with weird clothes," "leslie's friend" or "cameron's sister." The last one was my favorite considering I went to that school for 3 years and he 1. What a confidence booster. But now that I have a blog people know who I am, want to be my friend, chase me down the street! Not quite, but my point is that I'm cool. I know my few friends that are reading this are thinking that this is merely repercussion from all the years of being picked last in dodgeball but I have reason for my thought! In fact, five people this week have informed me that I needed to update my blog. Five! I don't think five people even showed up to my "sweet 16!" Wasn't so sweet... A girl at Jamba Juice even picked me out and told me that she read my blog. I know that when I post this no one will read it and I will go back to "weird clothes girl," but to those few who take sweet time out of their day to read my blog and ease those horrid high school memories; bless you.

I Know Ned. I wish he knew me...

Everyone has something that they don't like about themselves.
Let me rephrase that, every FEMALE has something they don't like about themselves and my "something" that I recently discovered is this; no matter the circumstances or people in my life I always find myself fancying some boy.
Now some may say this is natural, "You're a teenage girl!" But when all the men in my life are on missions or in college, my "fancies," as Ron Weasley would say, have become stranger. At the beginning of this odd stage, the subject of my crushing was this random boy in my class who seemed different from all the typical mountain view boys, so I subconciously dubed him the one. I did all the things you do when you crush on someone- stare at them in class, facebook stalk them, ask your friends about them- okay I did all the things that I do when I crush on someone. Anyways, I never talked to this guy, until today, and oh was it great. HE'S WEIRD! What a relief. So I was finally over with this odd stage, or so I thought. An hour after I get over Mr. Weird, I went to lunch with my three girlfriends, safe, nothing flirty or romantic about Neds. But today Neds must have really turned up the heat for as soon as I walked through the doors, I saw him. Its love.

Fake it and Make it

Once again my procrastinating has led to favorable results. I used to procrastinate with a "quick" email check (aka facebook), practicing the piano, or my favorite officechair-spinning. But my new method of procrastination has put my chair olympics to shame.
This new method is the beloved blogging.
While I was blog-stalking my good friend Rachel Schlappi, I came upon a little line on the bottom of one of her posts that read "love life...or atleast pretend to and you will." Inspiring! Not sure if her own genious mind inspired it or if it is the words of someone else, but it just made sense! I used to shun this idea, calling it fake, but after months of research, my hypothesis is as such; this idea is genious.
I always wondered why my great aunt who has lost three husbands can still wrap her arm around me and tell me of her good day with the brightest smile whereas the boy in my sixth hour can come to school everyday in his fancy clothing and grimace while he complains about not having a car.
Don't get me wrong, I do it too and maybe that kid is complaining because he gets mugged walking to school everyday. Who knows? But if he put on a bright face and pretended to be happy with his life, he would be!
INSPIRATIONAL! Litterally, be inspired, fake a smile, be happy.

Procrastinating Math and its Positive Results

Math stinks. So while I was procrastinating, my older brother was watching music videos. So I decided to join him and of course he was watching Taylor Swift's "You Belong to Me," since Taylor's talentless music is taking over the world. So while I was not doing my math, Taylor actually inspired something. Odd. But in her music video she and this boy secretly like each other but because she is a "nerd" and he is with the obnoxious "hottie," they can't tell each other. But it could never end like that or little girls (or 30 year old men in my brother's case) would be in an uproar! Instead they corrupt young minds by instilling the shallowness of the world. In the end the "nerd" walks into the dance transformed into a new kind of hottie. Of course the boy sees her, leaves his obnoxious hot girlfriend and they kiss and fall instantly in love. Sounds cute right? But what Taylor is missing here, like many other cheesy chick flicks, is why he couldn't be with her before? Because then, he would rather be with the "hottie" with the status, that the video shows he obviously didn't like, than be with the "nerd" that he always liked. So according to Taylor, if I want that boy that I am secretly crushing on right now I have to change my entire appearance and status. And this is what we are instilling in these young girls' minds. No wonder the world is the way it is.