The Pursuit of Happiness

Observation #31: It is all about the little things

Because of foot surgery and a 2 week family vacation, I have not been able to get a job. This may sound like a great relaxing summer to many of you, but I am going OUT OF ME MIND! I think it may have something to do with being raised by Phil Stoker or just my ADD personality, but I need to be doing something all the time.

I have picked up quilting because of this. I have also completely redone my room (pictures will come soon).

But I am still slightly miserable without the feeling of being needed. So I have started to create lists of the little things that make me happy whenever I feel anxious about how much time I have.

Here is my list for today:

1. Brushing my teeth for the first time with a new tooth brush
2. Watching my dog's pleased prance as we go on a walk without a leash (a first for him)
3. The adorability of an awkward boy. Have you seen the new Spider Man? I am kinda obsessed with Peter. I am so glad I saw it with Taylor Jones instead of a boy so I could oggle openly about how much I wanted him throughout the whole movie.

I just love this picture of him
It may or may not be taped on the ceiling above my  bed

4. Having a queen size bed (first time in my life)
5. My niece following me around all day saying "whatcha doin' missy?"

I just had to put a picture of her because she is da cuutest

6. Green smoothies. Like seriously. Ever since I started drinking these I have lost 10 pounds. I went on the HCG diet and I didn't even lose 10 pounds. I have very positive feelings towards these things

Thats All Folks!

I Have Found the Cure

Observation #22: Charlie Chaplin is the solution against white hair

When I tell people I am in the Interior design program, I am instantly pictured picking out fabric samples and paint swatches all day. Please get this picture out of your mind right now for it is both degrading to the ID program and false. I am constantly doing project, after drafting plans, after project. Lately, these projects have made me a little testy as my roommates will attest.
The bright spot in all of this is that after all the yoga and noodle crafts, I have finally found my perfect therapy; Charlie Chaplin.

How brilliant he is.

This post is not done.
watch this and then you can move on with your lives:

Fooled ya.

You can't move on now can you?

Why do we need to hear those words, "I'm proud of you?"

Observation #20: The human race can't be satisfied without the permission of the world.

I have this issue of not being satisfied with who I am. I think everyone has that problem in some way or another but we each struggle with it in a different way. I have a problem comparing myself with others. If it seems like they are doing it a little better then me, I try their way. But the thing is, it never works out for me and I return to my way.
That is my over-personal, round-about way of explaining why I haven't blogged recently. I just haven't enjoyed it recently like I used to. And I don't enjoy it because I haven't been doing it the way I want. I started this blog because of my love of the art of expression through writing. But I looked at other peoples' blogs who had several more followers than me and thought that if I added pictures instead of my rambling and over-personal bits here and there, then maybe I would have more followers.
Why do I need followers?
Why do we all need followers?
Can we be satisfied without the approval of the world?

The end of rambles,
-Stoker

P.S. Europe will have a part of the blog soon

Steven Dunn is so funn, he'll be my hunn. We won't need a gunn, because I'll wear a bunn, but I won't be a nunn. Yes I am dunn

Observation #18: We are so afraid of rejection that we are willing to succumb to lies as an alternative

Whispers collect there, the bad news
from our subconscious,
tears that have dripped down
the inside of faces,
apologies that have gotten lost
in all of our throats.

So much has been held in,
so much has seeped through
the soles of our shoes,
that half our lives are beneath the sidewalk
We sense the deep riot
that is always going on.

In spring there are small explosions.
Signs. This is why
the sidewalk must be repaved.
We hire someone to do it for us,
our tight bodies watching from the windows

-Steven Dunn

I hate it when English teachers would give you a poem just to tell you what it "really means" after you made, what you thought, a deep connection to it. So I will not shatter your dreams like the 9th grade pieces of my own, but you can make your own connection to this poem. And please do because it is my new favorite. And like my afternoon snack of nutella and pretzels, I have a hard time sharing my favorites (sorry roommate). So take advantage of it dang it!

The Best 19th Birthday I'll Ever Have!

Observation #16: I don't need my mom to have a successful birthday! Mazeltov to me!

So I'm turning 19. Now what? Well I'll tell you! This is what you do:

You hang on BYUI-center basketball hoops (Believe it or not I have a picture like it but my belly showage made it inappropriate)(I guess 19 is the year you gain the hops that black people have always had)

The next thing you do is fly a kite (preferably in Idaho since it provides the best kite-flying potential)

Then you find a carousel in a random park and beg Angela Graves to to pay for you to ride the pony

You then make your roommates dress up all hott so we can take pictures at Walmart like we are Asians or something (when really only a third of us are)

Lastly (((yes I am doing parentheses again(I'm 19 get over it))This one is crucial so take notes) you need to get in your footy pajamas and put 4 candles on a half eaten cake so you can blow them out RIGHT before 12:00 of the A.M.

P.S. No you are not crazy (well I don't actually know the kind of people my blog attracts so maybe you are, but I may be able to save you some money on a psychologist if you keep reading beyond these ridiculously long parentheses) that IS Angela Graves in the top picture. Unfortunately she didn't move to Rexburg, but she did visit me for a day, and made my 19th Birthday the BEST 19th Birthday I'll ever have!

Fake it and Make it

Once again my procrastinating has led to favorable results. I used to procrastinate with a "quick" email check (aka facebook), practicing the piano, or my favorite officechair-spinning. But my new method of procrastination has put my chair olympics to shame.
This new method is the beloved blogging.
While I was blog-stalking my good friend Rachel Schlappi, I came upon a little line on the bottom of one of her posts that read "love life...or atleast pretend to and you will." Inspiring! Not sure if her own genious mind inspired it or if it is the words of someone else, but it just made sense! I used to shun this idea, calling it fake, but after months of research, my hypothesis is as such; this idea is genious.
I always wondered why my great aunt who has lost three husbands can still wrap her arm around me and tell me of her good day with the brightest smile whereas the boy in my sixth hour can come to school everyday in his fancy clothing and grimace while he complains about not having a car.
Don't get me wrong, I do it too and maybe that kid is complaining because he gets mugged walking to school everyday. Who knows? But if he put on a bright face and pretended to be happy with his life, he would be!
INSPIRATIONAL! Litterally, be inspired, fake a smile, be happy.